Friday, June 26, 2015

Marriage Equality

There is a lot of chatter on social media today about the United States Supreme Court decision that legalized marriage for everyone. As the mother of a lesbian daughter I am thrilled that my child is now able to have the kind of formal commitment to her partner that her father and I had with each other. Once they are married they will be afforded all of the rights that the straight community has taken for granted for years!

Today we can say that all people in the United States can get married, we no longer have to use the phrase gay marriage, its just marriage. That is a reason to celebrate! This is not a crime against Christianity, it is a movement towards equality in marriage, equality in how our country treats its citizens and equality is basic human rights.

Marriage is not a Christian construct, it predates Christianity. Marriage is a commitment to another. It is a vow, a bond, a promise. To acknowledge the love two people have for each other, their commitment to each other is not a threat, it is just the right thing to do. If you are not part of the community that this landmark ruling affects you really don't understand the enormity of this decision.

Imagine back 50 or so years ago, men and women of different races, (seriously, if their skin color was different) could not legally marry each other. Asinine? I say yes. It's like saying you can't marry the person you love because their eyes are blue and yours are brown. It sounds silly when you put it that way but skin and eye color are just some of the wonderful things that make us unique, and yet skin color was used as a legal way to prevent two people from marrying.

We are all humans, all part of the same species. We all deserve to love, be loved and commit to that love. Hopefully in a few years we will wonder what the big deal was all about and why it took us so long to make marriage available to all citizens!

One of my favorite movie scenes of all time is from the movie Robin Hood Prince of Thieves between Azeem played by Morgan Freeman and a small girl:

Azeem: Salaam, little one.
Small Girl: Did God paint you?
Azeem: Did God paint me? [laughs]
Azeem: For certain.
Small Girl: Why?
Azeem: Because Allah loves wondrous varieties.

Truly puts it in perspective doesn't it! Variety is wonderful. Some people are attracted to blondes, some to brunettes, thankfully for me some are attracted to redheads! Some people like tall and lanky, others like more meat on their partner's bones. Some people are totally into their partner's intelligence, others love their mate for their humor. Others have no clue why they love their partner but they know they do! We can not control who we are attracted to, if we could there would be no divorce and arranged marriages would still be all the rage!

Marriage equality means nothing to the straight community, they already had the ability to marry the person they love. However, marriage equality means a lot to the the rest of the citizens of our country because now they can live their lives with the same commitments, the same protections, and they same rights as their straight counterparts, regardless of which state they live in or move to.

Before you rally with the haters and cry that our society is doomed, take a few minutes for some self-reflection, dig deep to see why you are filled with so much hate for something that doesn't concern you, will not affect your life, will not change your relationship with your spouse and will not change how you live - at all. Let's face it, not all straight marriages are perfect, people cheat on their spouse, they abuse their relationship and sometimes they abuse their partner, they divorce, they remarry, they generally abuse the gift that is marriage - but for some reason that is all OK because the couple is made up of a man and a woman, yet that two men who have a loving committed relationship can now get married people think it will destroy the sanctity of marriage or destroy our society? -Sorry folks, I am not buying that. Love wins in my book - every time.

If you feel that marriage equality is an affront to your faith, rest assured that God (or in my case the Goddess) has everything in control. Live your life the best way you can and don't be a hater. Know that in the end God is in charge - you don't have to be.

I'm off to toast my daughter and her partner. While I already consider the amazing young woman that my beautiful child loves my daughter, being able to have her recognized as my daughter-in-law across the country once they tie the knot is a gift I am truly thankful for.